Before It Gets Better
by aedy
Summary: "But when it burned, two members of your team excavated into the ruins"


Thanks to Carol for her amazing work as my betareader.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Torchwood

_**Before It Gets Better**_

Ianto lays on the floor half-unconscious. While he was trying to make his way to where Lisa was, someone had bumped into him knocking him down and he had hit his head falling.

He tries to concentrate on the sounds around him, on what little he can see in the darkness; he tries to keep his mind busy so he won't succumb to the tiredness he feels. He remembers the first-aid training he did when he had started at Torchwood and how they kept saying how important it was to stay conscious after a concussion.

Suddenly, unsure of when someone got to him, he feels a hand on his shoulder.

"Hang in there, mate, you hear me?"

Ianto moves his eyes trying to focus on the voice. "I hit my head," he manages to say.

"Then you better not fall asleep on me." Frantic hands moves all over his body; testing his abdomen, probing his ribs, following the line of his legs and arms and finally come to a rest in his hair. "You definitely have a concussion. I can feel the lump but I can't find any signs of internal bleeding or broken bones so don't worry."

The voice stops sounding concerned and now just seems controlled, relieved, practical…

"What's your name?"

"Jones, Ianto Jones," the young man says, and suddenly, speaking becomes more difficult and Ianto can feel himself starting to sleep away.

"What? Are you a 007?" the man jokes trying to keep him awake. A second later, he presses the comm in his ear. "Suzie, send someone with a stretcher to the second floor," he says quickly before his attention is back on Ianto. "Hey, you need to stay conscious, Jones, Ianto Jones," his voice is gentle now and caring and Ianto tries to loose himself in it so he can forget about the screams and the desolation surrounding him.

"When you get better, if you're still so suicidal to want to continue working for Torchwood, come to Cardiff. We will find you something to do in the Hub. I'm Harper by the way. Doctor Owen Harper," he adds his name as an afterthought just a couple of seconds before a paramedic with a stretcher comes over and quickly takes Ianto away.

Owen wonders why he has just offered Ianto a job when he knows how Jack hates people from Torchwood London.

* * *

At first Ianto can't remember what happened. He opens his eyes and finds himself in a hospital room. He doesn't ask why he's there because as soon as his mind clears, he can hear Lisa screaming, can see the Daleks in the sky and can hear the metallic echo of the Cybermen's footsteps.

He closes his eyes again and tries to forget.

Next time he regains consciousness, the only thought running through his mind is Cardiff and he doesn't even know why. Sure, he was raised just outside of there, but he never thought he'd want to go back.

When he's finally released from the hospital, he packs up his things and says good-bye to London.

* * *

One Sunday night, whilst walking through the park, he sees a weevil. At first sight he thinks he's going crazy but ends up following it nonetheless.

He finds the alien attacking a man wearing a long and old-fashioned coat. He helps the older man and introduces himself as "Jones, Ianto Jones" and in the back of his mind he can hear someone saying, "_What? Are you a 007?"_ but he doesn't recognize the voice so he pushes that thought away and spends the next two weeks trying to get a job at Torchwood 3.

He still doesn't know why he's in Cardiff or why he wants so much to get back into Torchwood when every fiber of his body is screaming at him to run away in the opposite direction.

But once again, he pushes all those strange thoughts to the back of his mind and next Monday he's wearing a new suit and every thing is starting all over again.

* * *

"Ianto, these are Toshiko Sato, Suzie Costello and Owen Harper - our computer specialist, scientist and 2nd in command, and doctor."

Jack's hand is warm on his shoulder but Ianto ignores that and the smile his boss is giving him and locks his gaze with Doctor Harper's.

"Boys and girls, this is Ianto Jones, our personal Alfred," Jack winks at him and Ianto finally smiles back.

When he looks again in Owen's direction, the doctor is nowhere to be seen and something about him and the name Suzie sound familiar to Ianto but he still doesn't remember.

* * *

Time seems to tick by quickly after his arrival.

Suzie is always working on her glove, Tosh at a new program that will translate alien languages into English, Jack keeps flirting with Ianto in the spare time they have when they're not trying to save the world, and Owen coldly starts calling Ianto _tea-boy._

Ianto can always feel the doctor's eyes upon him, following him while he walks across the Hub, down to the archives… and Ianto starts to watch Owen too but the doctor never notices.

* * *

Then Suzie dies and Gwen Cooper comes at Torchwood. She's different, she's good, and Ianto likes her right away and they become friends. Sometimes he even thinks that she's his best friend.

One night they all go out together to have a drink and when several hours later it's just Owen, Ianto and Tosh, they start talking about Suzie.

Toshiko says, "I miss her sometimes. Maybe it's because Gwen is so much different from her."

Owen shrugs, "What does it matter? She's dead, we all are." He then gets up and leaves and Ianto can't help but stare after him until the pub door closes behind him.

"What is wrong with him? Is this because he was sleeping with Suzie?" Tosh asks sipping what's left of her beer.

Ianto just shrugs and offers to walk her home.

* * *

They are investigating mysterious murders in the country when things change.

Jack decides to split the group; Ianto and Toshiko have to go in search of their stolen SUV and him, Owen and Gwen are going to the village.

They get attacked and Ianto almost gets himself killed trying to save Toshiko.

She keeps thanking him, Gwen smiles sweetly at him before going with Jack - who pats him on the arm and tells him he's been great - over to the policemen.

Owen stays behind with Ianto.

He tells the younger man to sit in the back of the SUV and starts to stitch him up until finally, he can't stand to pretend to be happy that Ianto risked to be killed anymore and mutters angrily, "reckless daft."

Ianto frowns at him and opens his mouth as to say something, but suddenly Owen is pulling at his shirt, bringing him closer and crushing their mouths together.

Ianto is shocked and doesn't kiss Owen back so the doctor pulls away and without as much as a second glance in his direction, walks away towards where Tosh, Gwen and Jack are standing.

Ianto takes a deep breath and suddenly remembers everything.

* * *

It takes a while after that "_countrycide_ _incident_" - as Owen calls it - for things to get back to normal.

They're all shaken up by the fact that human beings could do those things and Ianto has nightmares for weeks. Sometimes he's back at Canary Wharf and sometimes the cannibals manage to kill him and then go looking for Toshiko and the others.

The more time passes, the more the nightmares become too vivid and so Ianto takes up the habit to sleep at the Hub. He keeps spare suits down in the archives because he's the only one that goes down there and no one will notice.

Gwen starts to spend every free moment she has at home with Rhys and Ianto is genuinely happy for her because she's the only one with a life outside the Hub and she should appreciate how lucky she is.

Toshiko buries herself in her work and Jack starts to flirt with Ianto more cheekily then before and every time they have a briefing, Ianto flirts back just for the sake of keeping his mind occupied with something because now Owen doesn't follow him with his eyes anymore.

Owen's way to cope with everything is going out and getting laid as much as he can. This bothers Ianto but he doesn't even know why.

He remembers now. The night he lost everything and Owen was there, keeping him conscious, saving his life… the young man knows it was probably just the medic in him, but he can't help but start to wish that there's something more to it than just duty.

But they both ignore that kiss and it's only inevitable that they start getting edgy around each other.

* * *

Tosh comes in one morning wearing an unusual necklace and Ianto thinks it is strange how she keeps touching it nervously looking at everyone curiously.

He offers her a coffee and she looks at him stunned. He frowns and asks, "Is something wrong?"

She quickly shakes her head and walks out of the meeting room. On her way she bumps into Owen and when he reaches out to steady her, she hears what he's thinking.

She sees his eyes wander to where Ianto is standing and then hears his thoughts, "_guess I shouldn't have kissed him but he could have said something… anything… when he's around…_" she quickly walks away and all the way to her apartment she keeps telling herself that the necklace must be broken because surely Owen wasn't thinking those things about Ianto.

When Toshiko gets home, Mary tells her that the necklace always works and her first thought is that she was sure Owen was shagging Gwen and doesn't know if she's relieved or not to know that it's not the case.

Then Jack finds out about Mary and the necklace and Ianto and Owen have to keep Tosh from shooting Jack and when he finally sends Mary to die, all that's left in the Hub is the sensation of having been betrayed by someone they trusted.

Owen doesn't speak to her because he's angry and because he's afraid she heard what he was thinking about their tea-boy.

Ianto is the only one on her side. He knows what it is like to be ready to do anything for the person you love and how it feels to see someone you care about die.

He's on his way out of the boardroom when Tosh gently grabs his hand and makes him look down at her.

"I…" she trails off and wipes away the tears forming on her face. Ianto reaches into his jacket and hands her his handkerchief. "I heard Owen. He…" she breaks down in a sob. "Just talk to him, okay?"

Ianto stays there for a long while just staring at Toshiko. He feels rooted to the ground and when he finally manages to move, he leaves the room and goes down to the archives where he spends the rest of the day and part of the night until Jack comes down to find him and tells him to go home and get some rest.

* * *

Things get colder after that; Ianto keeps glancing at Owen and the doctor knows that Tosh has heard him and that she must have told the younger man something.

Then people start to get killed again and they have to bring Suzie back to the land of living and Gwen almost dies.

Ianto can feel a pull at night when he's laying in his bed alone. Something inside his head is screaming at him to stop ignoring that kiss and confront Owen about it because you can't just go from angrily kissing someone to completely avoiding him.

But in the end he doesn't do anything because there's Diane, and Owen falls in love with her, and because in the end Ianto just wants to feel someone close to him and ends up in Jack's bed.

* * *

Then, as they say, things need to get worse before they get better.

Owen ends up in an alien fight club and Tosh and Jack disappears into a different time zone. In an attempt to save them, Owen opens the rift and Ianto shoots him.

And everything changes for Ianto because he starts to feel lost. He doesn't know what he's doing or why, and next thing he knows they're ganging up against Jack and Owen kills him.

But when Jack returns from being killed by Abadon and kisses Ianto, the younger man catches Owen's eyes and he thinks for a moment that he can see the hurt in the doctor's eyes. But then he asks himself why Owen should be hurt or jealous when he almost killed Cardiff to bring Diane back.

And then the worst that could happen comes crushing down on them. Jack leaves without a word and Ianto buries himself down in the archives.

"So what, tea-boy, now that the good old captain is gone you don't know what to do with yourself?"

Ianto looks up at Owen's sharp tone and for a moment holds his gaze before getting up from the floor and walking straight into Owen's face.

"I could shoot you again," he threatens but they both know that it's not going to happen.

Owen grabs Ianto's shirt and pushes him into the shelving behind him. The younger man flinches at the pain that shoots through his back but keeps looking straight into Owen's eyes.

"What's your problem?" Ianto asks, with a cold voice. "What are you doing down here anyway?"

And Owen doesn't know what to answer, truth to be told, he was just so tired of watching Ianto sulking around the Hub. He ignores the younger man question and for a brief moment his eyes wander down to the Welshman's lips and Ianto thinks that Owen is going to kiss him again.

The silence stretches between them and they don't even know what they're doing anymore until finally, Ianto speaks again. "I didn't remember, you know."

Owen looks confused and let go of Ianto. "What?"

"I didn't remember the last hours of that night at Canary Wharf. I couldn't remember anything after my fall but there was like an echo in the back of my mind that now I know it was your voice, telling me what to do." He shook his head. "I came here without even knowing why. I couldn't remember having met you before up until you kissed me and I was too shocked to kiss you back."

Owen looks at Ianto, his eyes not as furious as only moments before. "I thought you just decided to ignore me."

The younger man rolls his eyes and takes a step closer to Owen. "I thought you hated me."

"I did," the doctor quietly says. Especially after you started shagging Harkness." In the distance, they can hear Gwen shouting on the phone with someone from the UNIT.

"It happened after the whole Diane thing. And it's nothing important, not to me and especially not to him if the way he left was anything to go by."

"Well he gave you quite a kiss before disappearing."

Ianto smiles, "What, you're jealous?"

Owen looks away for a moment but doesn't deny it. "So, you came here for me after all?"

Ianto nods before walking over to Owen. He grabs Owen's jacket and pushes him up against a shelf. For a moment they hold each other's gaze and then Ianto closes the gap between them.

The kiss is tentative at first but when Owen's hand finds its way into Ianto's hair, gently stroking it like that night at Canary Wharf, everything shifts back into place and it all makes a little bit more sense.

* * *

They start having a routine. At work Ianto brings everyone coffee and Owen keeps calling him tea-boy but it doesn't sound vicious anymore. At the end of the day, when Gwen and Toshiko leave for the night, Owen goes up and waits outside the tourist office. Ianto tidies up the Hub and when he's finished and leaves, Owen is there.

They walk over to the Doctor's car in silence, without holding hands or kissing, just side by side until they reach Owen's or Ianto's flat.

If Tosh and Gwen notice something, they never tell.

* * *

"How are you, Ianto?"

It's two months after the kiss in the archives and Jack has just gotten back. They're helping the Captain's past lover for a reason Ianto doesn't even know.

"All the better for having you back, Sir."

"Can we maybe drop the Sir, now? I mean, while I was away, I was thinking, maybe we could, you know, when this is all done, dinner, a movie…" Jack trails off and tries to remember when was the last time a guy made him stammer.

Ianto turns around and locks his gaze with Jack's. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Interested?" the captain asks back.

The younger man holds his gaze and sighs looking away. "I am actually seeing someone, Sir."

Jack wasn't expecting that. Sure, he didn't think Ianto would forgive him right away, but he didn't even think that he would start seeing someone while he was away. So he doesn't know what to say and for long and interminable seconds he stays motionless staring at Ianto.

"Is… is he someone I know?" he finally manages to ask.

Briefly, Ianto wonders what would have happened if he hadn't met Owen in London, if he would have started to work for Torchwood 3 for any other reasons and realizes that he would have said yes to Jack in that case. But he isn't playing the '_what if?_' game, so he just shrugs and says, "It's Owen."

Jack looks at him and Ianto can't read what's in his eyes. Finally, the Captain walks over to the door and says, "I'm going to check on the roof."

That night Jack dies and come back again and Ianto barely manages to save Owen, Tosh and Gwen; then Gwen almost explodes thanks to John Hart, Jack's past lover, but it's the end of another ordinary day at Torchwood, and they save everyone.

When the team is on their way back to their SUV, Jack glances over his shoulder for a moment and sees Owen and Ianto talking. He can't make out what they're saying but it looks like they're arguing about something. Finally Ianto leans forward and kisses Owen to shut him up, kisses him while he's still wearing a little goofy smile on his face and Jack can't tear his eyes away from the scene.

Owen pulls back and looks at Ianto as if to ask what got into him to kiss him in front of every one but what he says loud enough that Jack can hear him, is "this is not over. Stop trying to get yourself killed just to save everyone else."

Ianto rolls his eyes and starts to walk over to where the rest of the team is standing and says, "You said that before coming to work here, I had to still be suicidal enough to want a new job at Torchwood."

Owen glares at him and quickens his pace to surpass him and quickly gets into the SUV.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack catches Gwen and Tosh shaking their heads smiling.

Ianto doesn't feel lost anymore feeling contentment with Owen and him and Jack never talk about that night again.

* * *

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